While I am entirely a dog person, I have found myself thinking in a feline, Cat with Nine Lives kind of way. It started about a week ago when the glamorous Tabitha at Bourbon & Pearls revealed her current fetish (her word) for the romance of Russia. A lively dialogue developed in the comments section in which I mentioned having participated in a theatre festival in St. Petersburg during a cold, dark winter. The rippling surprise of her reaction encouraged me to remember that yes, I had done that and yes, it was an extraordinary experience. One that had been buried under the leaves of long ago. I tend to forget.
While I know I am not “what I do” and certainly not “what I wear” hopefully there is something brewing in the “how I am.” I have worked over the past year on being more in the present moment. A greater appreciation for the small moments right in front of me has arrived out of that. But I have been so focused on the now that I am left feeling a bit bare. Some layers have been stripped out of necessity, it is true. Along with the down-sizing that we have undergone in the past few years, I have also down-sized…myself. I have kept my house swept a little too clean. Now I want to remember that it is perfectly fine to let those fallen leaves linger while I inch my way towards whatever is Next. There is nothing wrong with a little surface suggestion or a waltz with what has been.
Time to dust off an album, put the needle on the record and let the music play.
I know that we are all formed by our past and our previous choices but I am curious–if you wish to share–how much of your past has stayed with you? Have you changed much over the years?
Perhaps the discovery of the "living to discover" phase is the penultimate point in life. I ponder. As I sneak off for a minute or two from the endless saga of packing boxes, to remember that there is a point in life other than filling boxes with memories. For I, like you, love to ponder those memories. Which is probably why the packing process is taking so long. "Oh, do you remember when?" moments are so very precious! xx
I believe that our past makes us who we are. Maybe for a while we might forget details but they live within us, beneath the surface, covered by leaves, as you say. There are parts of my past that I am not proud of and that I have buried deep inside me. But sometimes it surfaces in my thoughts, in my dreams. I do not think we can ever forget where we came from. In short we are the summation of our past experiences, both good and bad. I hope that 2013 will bring you many new discoveries.
Oooh and how brave you are to admit it, Shelley! I agree with you and think that a lot of us let too much pass under the bridge just because we are older. I have also done a lot of letting go this past year, it feels good even if it is tough in the beginning!
I'm sure I've changed a great deal over the years, almost with each decade – at least I hope I'm not still thinking / acting like a teenager! I think new experiences are enriching, but of course one has to take up the opportunities for experience. Unlike you I have kept far too much of my past life and am finally getting to the point where I am willing – I want – to discard some of it. I'm also aware that since retiring I've gotten a bit lazy. I can't go back to my busy, ambitious 30s but I'm trying to remember some of the habits I had back then to see if I can't adopt those again. I'm finding that older doesn't necessarily mean wiser!
Thought you might appreciate the title of this post.
I always knew you were a cat person in disguise.
Heather, I'm humbled by your acknowledgement. Also warm regards to your Mom and Sister.
xo
Well, I love the way YOU think, Jeanne and certainly the bright light of your optimism. And yes, you have gone through so many changes in your life that you are solid in your perspective, it comes directly out of your own fascinating experience. I find it really interesting, especially in thinking about John Tierney's recent article in the NY Times, "Why you won't be the person you expect to be" in which he explains why people tend to underestimate how much they will change in the future compared with what changes they remember from their past. Not you. 🙂 I will be looking forward to discovering what you will bring to your life and to others next.
Amazing. Thank you so much, Chris. This is just beautiful. I am feeling really humble reading these responses!
Oh Amelia, you gave me the double gift of inducing happy tears than a laugh! The idea of your tapestry is just one of the most beautiful metaphors for life that I have read in such a long time. Deeply, deeply moving…and inspiring. I will be sending this on to my Mom and Sister, I want them to see it too. Thank you.