Recently, I had the opportunity to spend some time with two interesting and quite different French teenagers, both of whom are at the very particular age of 14. I have known Mateo, above, for a few years now as he the son of one of Remi’s closest friends. Each time that they come down to Provence for a visit, I see Mat’s mind opening with leaps and bounds. He is already a consummate Parisian with impeccable manners, his own “look” and a wide grasp of current culture. He is a willing conversationalist with very specific points of view, including a strong argument that his particular generation is not as deeply impacted by the violence present in video games as we adults might think.
One of the highlights of Mat and his Dad’s visit this summer was a picnic held at our secret church. The day was blistering but that didn’t prevent us from having a wonderful time. It says a lot about Mat that he is not the kind of ado that will whine about being bored, he takes his time into his own hands. So while we chattered on and on, he asked if he could borrow my camera and went on a photo hunt. Below are two that he took, which I wanted to share as it was lovely to discover where his eye roamed.
Unfortunately, Mat headed back up north the day before Loïc’s arrival, so they weren’t able to meet.
Also from la région parisienne, Loïc was vacationing en famille with an old friend of ours. He is quiet and discreet, yet I was quickly impressed by his attentiveness towards his younger Sister, Julie as well as his lack of hesitation in asking questions on subjects that were new to him. I also could call him “The Dog Whisperer” for his excellent connection with animals. Ben was certainly completely charmed by him, answered his call and followed him wherever he went.
Perhaps because Remi and I don’t have children ourselves, I find such meetings edifying, a means to touch base with a youth that is quite different from what I experienced. Of course, some aspects are not surprising–Mat and Loïc both have an ease regarding their near constant connection with the virtual world, one which they can take or leave unobtrusively, without any show or pretension. But what marked me the most was how serious they both are about their futures. Yes, at 14. Both admitted that due to the fact that we are in such shaky times financially, they will need to have specific career plans and have already taken solid steps in moving towards their perspective choices. Impressive, isn’t it? I sincerely hope that both of them have bright futures ahead.
So, any thoughts from my friends around the world about our youth today?
I don't even know about that one foot planted in childhood. Holy cow, 14 is not what it used to be.
Wisely concerned for the future and also concerned for the environment too! Very interesting.
An amazing, amazing response Natalie, thank you. "They are born with pixels"–so simple and yet so true and yes how very, very different it was for us! I am also interested what it will be like for you to see your boys grow and evolve–there is such a big age difference between them, there must be inherent cultural shifts that mark them too.
Will pass them along, my lovely Contessa.
xo,
H
Hello Helen. What an interesting thing to say–and yes, this new generation seems more capable of getting things done than my lost and dreaming Generation X!
Gros bisous,
H
I can only imagine how a Mom must worry but I think (as I have already said) that kids really respond to such well-placed trust. It says much about what a fine Mom you must be…
Merci Karin! I really appreciated how open they both were to having their photos taken–how different than I was at that age!!!
Dear Heather,
Your posting made me recall the time, a few years before my grandmother died, when we were talking with a new neighbor of hers who was the beleaguered mother of two adolescent boys who'd recently been giving trouble. We'd both coughed up various bits of advice before she said (not in the most pleasant of tones) "Well, you two seem to know a lot about teenaged boys, to not have any".
I recall looking at my grandmother, and she looked at me….and she said "How many have you had?". I thought a moment and replied "oh….only about 500…..did you ever keep count?", and she flatly said "Something around 1000, I guess…."
Mrs. "I can't handle two boys" looked understandably puzzled, so I let her know that I'd been teaching at/living in a boys' boarding school for four years, and my grandmother had been the matron of a boys' orphanage for 25 years. All done and said, we were thoroughly familiar with our product.
Only a few days ago, I talked on the telephone with a friend (who's known me only in my incarnation during the past ten years) who was less-than-entirely happy over having just dropped-off her 16 year old son (who's been doing very poorly in school) for his first year at military school. I consoled her somewhat, treating her to my stock of bromides, cautionary-tales, and re-assurances. She, also, expressed puzzlement over my having so many opinions about adolescent boys…until I told her what I'd done for a living over 13 years.
Her response was "Oh My GOD!….hundreds of them at a time? I can't understand even the one boy I've got!!".
I told that they were, as a very general rule, much more interesting and pleasant when you happened not to be their mother or father.
Paradoxically enough, my grandmother had one child (my father) and afterwards made a very clear point of getting out of the reproductive business. I've never had any children and never felt the least bit wistful about the matter. In that respect (and in regard to teenaged boys), my grandmother and I were/are both like several quite accomplished veterinarians I know; they spend all day, every day, working with animals, without having the slightest desire to have any of their own.
For some reason, I'm recalling one of my headmasters (he was a good one) telling the new faculty at our boys' boarding school "The only un-fixable sin you can make while you're teaching here is underestimation….every one of these boys is capable of surprising you."
He was a fine headmaster. I also recall his telling a middle-aged, not-very-pleasant teacher (who'd said something about going to look-up a particular boy's file) "Don't go reading his file…get to know the boy before you memorize everthing in his file". It was good advice.
Well, enough from me. thanks for the good posting,
David Terry
http://www.davidterryart.com
I think today's teenagers get a lot of undeserved "bad press". I have 4 boys aged between 10 and 15 and while they certainly do love computer games, especially war games, they are kind and gentle souls, reasonably responsible and certainly do take an interest in their futures, as do most of their friends. They are able to separate the virtual world from the real world, but seem to be able to move easily between the two. They care a lot more about the planet than we did as children and I think are more knowledgeable about what is going on in the world. I am grateful to say that, so far, I have been very pleasantly surprised by the teenagers around me! Have a great weekend. x Sharon
These two seem very mature and grounded for their age. I can't say I know any, or have known many, fourteen year olds that are that serious about their future. It's nice to see that they seem to have one foot planted in childhood and the other ready to step into the real world 🙂