So I have been living in this space for seven years now. Some of you have been too. Seven years. It’s a long span of time but of course it has passed so quickly, the beauty and the jagged all together. My heart is full.
Granted, you might be thinking, “Heather, you are baaaarely keeping this thing going.” Et vous avez raison. I am not going to dwell on why, we have already crossed that Bridge of Sighs plenty of times together. But even when I am not actually offering up to you my words and photographs – Look! Look! Look! – I am with you still.
So, it is with that trust, strong like a golden wire, that I have a question for you.
Yesterday, I took the train to Arles to see some art. I miss my little town. So I sat on the banks of the Rhone and felt the 2500 years of history flow through me as the sun caressed my cheek. I climbed the worn stone staircases of what is now the Musee Reattu just as the Knights of Malta did and smiled as the floors creaked reassuringly under my feet.
And I felt at home.
But then I started to do “the rounds,” to visit those that I knew before. Every person to a one handled me so delicately, largely with well-intentioned pity. “How are you, Heather? Really? Comment ça va?” All with the same head tilt of concern. I felt so uncomfortable that I could not tell them that actually, I have a job now and my own apartment or that I am starting to make new friends in a different town. That pity hung heavy between us like a veil.
Because, we are not broken. And as beaten as I have felt during this past year, I was always and am still breathing, grateful. The Beauty of this Life is undeniable.
I am not the person I once was. But none of us are.
So I think that it is time to ask the question that has been brewing in me since the very beginning of January, maybe earlier.
If I am not “Lost” and definitely not “Lost in Arles” then who can I be? Because I don’t feel Lost anymore. Struggling yes, often even, but not Lost. Everything, everything was and is completely meant to be.
This means that I no longer feel that the title of this blog fits. It is a hollow definition that is one of my last links to the past, but one that is starting to feel more and more like a chain holding me back from where I want to go.
As I am uncertain as to what that might be, I am turning to you. Community is always what I have celebrated on these anniversaries.
I am officially opening up the Suggestion Box for what new title this space may wear. Please feel free to leave a comment below or to email me at robinsonheather (at) yahoo.com if you prefer.
"Officially Heather," it sounds strong, it implies Heather redefined. Like you state, you are living in a new place, making lots of new friends, and you have a new job. Best of all, you've achieved total independence. It is all very positive. I never quite understood "Lost in Aries." Unless the word "lost' meant dreamy lost? Then again dreamy tends often not to be true to life in the full sense of the word. Lastly, many friends that went through a divorce had similar experiences with people that knew them as a couple. Some people unfairly take sides or take pity. Neither is appropriate but it happens. This too will pass. Susan
Agree!
You are crossing another bridge. I don't know… your photographs are captivating, but I really enjoy your writing the most. I was thinking about objet d'art and objet trouvé when I read your post and the other comments, but I can't come up with a catchy new name. Heather, lost and found in Provence…. Looking forward to finding out where you take this next.
rêvasser en Arles, daydreaming in provence, finding tranquility in Arles…..you get the idea….finding peace
Arles is a beautiful sweet place, and part of your history, but I personally don't think you need it anymore.
Here I Am France…..sounds good to me.
The tranquility of a new found place and starting a new phase in life are wonderful and should warm a heart.
I have really no suggestion for a title but: After Seven or After Seven, etc…
The tranquility of a new found place and starting a new phase in life are wonderful and should warm a heart.
I have really no suggestion for a title but: After Seven or After Seven, etc…
How about Lost and Found in Translation.
Have been following your Blog for a couple of years, Heather. Like you, I arrived in France as a young adult from Canada and have been here for 47 years- 40 in Provence. Things do tend to turn out. There is such a need for your type of creativity here in France.
wishing you all the best.
lynn in gordes
MasteringHeather, HeathersBreadth or heatherPutsOnHerBigGirlPanties–ok…maybe that one is too risky
We are all on this messy journey of life, seeking connections.
You have the ability to put into words and pictures feelings that reach our souls-a treasured talent.
Change the name-nothing ever stands still….and we only catch up with ourselves in fleeting moments.
Stay our fleeting moment.
Lora
Resounding YES to a name change! Finding Heather has a nice ring and could follow you anywhere!
Mwahs, T xx