So I have been living in this space for seven years now. Some of you have been too. Seven years. It’s a long span of time but of course it has passed so quickly, the beauty and the jagged all together. My heart is full.
Granted, you might be thinking, “Heather, you are baaaarely keeping this thing going.” Et vous avez raison. I am not going to dwell on why, we have already crossed that Bridge of Sighs plenty of times together. But even when I am not actually offering up to you my words and photographs – Look! Look! Look! – I am with you still.
So, it is with that trust, strong like a golden wire, that I have a question for you.
Yesterday, I took the train to Arles to see some art. I miss my little town. So I sat on the banks of the Rhone and felt the 2500 years of history flow through me as the sun caressed my cheek. I climbed the worn stone staircases of what is now the Musee Reattu just as the Knights of Malta did and smiled as the floors creaked reassuringly under my feet.
And I felt at home.
But then I started to do “the rounds,” to visit those that I knew before. Every person to a one handled me so delicately, largely with well-intentioned pity. “How are you, Heather? Really? Comment ça va?” All with the same head tilt of concern. I felt so uncomfortable that I could not tell them that actually, I have a job now and my own apartment or that I am starting to make new friends in a different town. That pity hung heavy between us like a veil.
Because, we are not broken. And as beaten as I have felt during this past year, I was always and am still breathing, grateful. The Beauty of this Life is undeniable.
I am not the person I once was. But none of us are.
So I think that it is time to ask the question that has been brewing in me since the very beginning of January, maybe earlier.
If I am not “Lost” and definitely not “Lost in Arles” then who can I be? Because I don’t feel Lost anymore. Struggling yes, often even, but not Lost. Everything, everything was and is completely meant to be.
This means that I no longer feel that the title of this blog fits. It is a hollow definition that is one of my last links to the past, but one that is starting to feel more and more like a chain holding me back from where I want to go.
As I am uncertain as to what that might be, I am turning to you. Community is always what I have celebrated on these anniversaries.
I am officially opening up the Suggestion Box for what new title this space may wear. Please feel free to leave a comment below or to email me at robinsonheather (at) yahoo.com if you prefer.
Dearest Heather, I agree that a new name is in order. Excellent swordsmith that you are, I am certain that you will find the ideal name for here & now. Thank you for shining your light.
Love/ly in Arles 🙂
Sounds like you've been both 'lost' and 'found' in Arles. . .why not just add that to the title? I am thinking in terms of search engines now, and you might not want to go cold turkey with a whole new title as some readers may be looking for you and only remember the 'lost' part.
Keep your present name….I am afraid I will lose you! We are all lost at times, I like the progress that you are showing and the chance we all have to grow and change.
Thats a tough question…
i like the idea of "blooming anew…in Provence" but it needs to come from your heart and feel "right"
Good luck!
That's a tough one. I wouldn't know what to suggest, except something rather mundane like Postcards from Provence. Hope France is treating you kindly. Have been having some blog issues myself – but more about that some other time.
Found in Life
I had a couple of thoughts this morning while in my yoga class …. I think you want to keep the connection to France and are on a journey that continues to hold your readers' interests. "French Journey" is the idea, but perhaps there's a pithier, more creative way to say it. I'm excited to learn what your new title will be.
And these photos….. again, looking for some brilliant new artwork for my new house!
Not lost, but are you found? Is one ever found? I see that you have found direction or are at the very least seeking direction. You certainly always find beauty through your lens. I hope these observations help.
Well. My first thought was Lost and Found like your sister suggested. But then I wondered why it wouldn’t just be your name? Your name will never limit you and it’s the common thread we have among our different lives! Though expanding on David’s idea, Heather Robinson Gay Twinks Live might be great for SEO or whatever that term is. Hahaha