Do you often revisit the same dream landscapes? To a point that you feel that they have become a real neighborhood in your life, not just one in your mind? I do.
There are train stations, vaguely New Yorkish, where I have memorized that I need to go up a certain staircase if I hope to make my connection on time (make of that what you will) and mysterious houses, vaguely Victorian, that recall my childhood homes more than the actual structures ever could.
All this to say that I am not someone who is, at any given moment, one hundred percent certain if I am dreaming or awake. It isn’t practical, but it is a part of who I am, certainly in the present circumstances.
For they are hazy and there is a lot that I can’t quite share with you in order to respect the privacy of this particular transition. Parsimony is required. So I am not lying nor hiding, just doing what I can, when I can. It has been nearly an entire year of unfolding, waiting and seeing while clasping the reins of action nonetheless.
I know where I am without knowing at all. The surroundings that I recognize so well and yet that are not mine for the taking confirm that, mirror a bit mocking if I take it so. At best, I observe and enjoy. And I am aiming for the best, no matter where that path will take me.
In an hour, I will leave for a real not dreamed train station for a trip of short distance. There will be a 45 minute wait in which I will watch the passerby and wonder if they ever feel the same about their lives or if they are tucked up tight in the swathes of certainty.
The sun is bright. I feel it on the tops of my hands as I type in a way that reminds me that I am wide awake. Right in this very particular moment, I don’t need to look to the past or ahead. Can I just hold it like an inbreath, this croisement between dreaming and reality? This sweet gift of now?
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.
Thank you so much for reading along with me during what is admittedly a quiet time.
But there is still much beauty to be found…and revisited.
I am grateful for that, always.
I like that I was in Arles this Spring…so things looks very familiar to me. I think we all need to stay in the now Heather. I am attending a meditation class where they are teaching us just that. By the way, my pictures of Arles do not look this good. I hope you have plans for Christmas…..being with friends at least. I am so happy that you are blogging again. janey
Hello Heather,
Your images are breathtaking and the light is incredible.
Sending you fondest wishes.
Helen xx
Heather! You "too foolish" to read T.S. Eliot? Plaisantes-tu? (No, no ,no!)
At first sight I thought that last picture was Rue de la Roque in Arles which I liked a lot. It is not…but has a similar feeling of quiet and privacy.
My dreamscapes are more dreamapartemts not at all to confuse with the "dream apartment" in the sense of beauty or space. 😉
Usually they morph into different shapes while I am dreaming.
Well, I guess nothing and no-one is swathed in certainty.
Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts! Happy to see you moving quite a bit. Taking a train, visiting people, changing perspective!
I know that you have been and are on the path too, Clare. Let's keep going…
Nicole, I have read and reread your beautiful response several times now and with each I am caught up not only in the beauty of the imagery that you have so generously shared but the through line of Hope that it offers. I am very, very grateful for it, thank you.
Merci, amie.
Oh, I appreciate that Maria. The light here is so exceptional though, it takes care of itself, even with an iphone!
…and again. Thank you, Edgar.
Laura, you hit the nail on the head. I long for security and familiarity in this time when the world is still rather upside down. No answers yet, truly. Will keep listening.