It was quite a surprise that I suddenly wanted to take pictures again. So I picked up the camera for the first time in many months, cradling it to my chest with one hand in-between the clicks, happy to see again.
That is a gift that you gave to me. Yes, you. Your comments and emails of support and understanding are like a talisman that I always have in my pocket, just in case. I thank you with all of my heart. It is freeing to know that I can share and that being ‘alone’ is an illusion.
What wasn’t surprising, not in the least, was that I would love my friend Elizabeth, La Contessa, in person as much as I have through communicating across the lines, over the years via the internet and eventually, due to her insistence, on the phone. She invited me to come out West to change my mind and then some. Maybe to shift perspective and pick up a bit of strength on the way.
I could feel the smile spreading up through my throat, across my lips to raise up my hand in a goofy wave as soon as I saw her at the terminal, waiting, searching the crowds for a redhead, possibly in a caftan. It was a recognition, a “Hello you” of a friendship made solid, something that would only intensify over the days as I fell head over heels for her and her antiques-filled (and I do mean filled) home, her charming Italian Husband, her winsome Corgi named Winston and even, astonishingly, a wise cat named Theodore (just don’t tell Ben and Kipling). That all of this was to be found in California only added to the sweetness.
It was a champagne bubble of a week filled with everything that I like.
Did that pop when I returned back to reality? It did. I realize constantly that I am in the early days yet. But, when courage has been instilled it cannot so easily be stripped.
And so too, on this Memorial Day in the States, I think of the men and women who have crossed truly frightening lines, fueled less by inspiration but something lit like freedom. I thank them as well.
“The question is not what a man can scorn, or disparage, or find fault with, but what he can love, and value, and appreciate.”
— John Ruskin
A thought that I held onto tightly on that day in February when I flew out of Paris?
There is a horizon always above the clouds and it is shining blue.
****
*For those of you stopping by because of Elizabeth’s unending kindness? Thank you so very much for being here. If this post or the links are a little too cryptic, you can find out more of my recent story by clicking here. Bienvenue…
P.S. (#3)…….
First of all?…I think it's incumbent on all of us at this time to make sure that Miss Heather receives at least a small dose of daily humor.
Secondly?….I'm back on the third day, to respond to the two private emails I've received in response to the last posting.
People seem to wonder how anyone could possibly reach the age of 35 without having ever even seen a utility bill (which, I recognize, is one of those THINGS THAT ADULTS LEARN TO HANDLE).
The answer is: Private Boarding Schools. Go to and, afterwards, teach in one for all the years that one's not going to or teaching in a fancy private college/university…..and you, too, can grow up to be an essentially non-functioning adult with no defense-skills or readily marketable practical-skills.
Trust me on this one. In any case, Heather?……it's true. I STILL have never even SEEN a utility bill of any sort, much less paid one.
There's a very good reason that, in regard to my own ongoing divorce, a longtime friend (he'd come over to show me how to re-wire a wall-switch) said "Good God…..this is like a re-make of 'Born Free'……and we've all got to pitch in and show David how to get food on his own….."
Warily yours as ever,
—-david terry
I am so glad you met with happiness. Your post reminds me of a song by another redhead. Maybe California by Tori Amos. Happy Memorial Day.
Dearest Heather, I have seen your name all around Blogland for years now, and your name is always there at Vicki Archer's blog where I always go for a classy pick-me-up. But I just came from La Contessa's blog (where I love to go and feel good) and I had to come by to visit. Your lovely photos are inspiring and so mature in their mood. Your choices are outstanding and your words seasoned, as a life well-lived.
Wishing you the best as you take another step on a journey unknown, but certainly not alone. Anita
Dear Heather…I'm sending you much love and a big hug from the UK ~ your week with Contessa I'm sure lifted your spirits, I loved the photos of you both. Through your gentleness, your writing and your photography and your inevitable challenges of life you will become a different, even lovelier Heather, you have such a talent for writing…I know, I said this to you some time ago…why don't you write a book? Much love Catherine xx
Sweetheart, We need to talk. xoxox
Welcome back and many thanks to David Terry, how profound. He has you pegged right on. Thanks again for your beautiful blog. Please continue.
Jo-Anne on Saltspring Island BC Canada
Heather in the months following my upheaval, I was so disconnected from my creativity. The one thing I'd always had in never ending abundance. It was like it had dried up and I was a different person. And then I got the mail and there was an issue of Vanity Fair with a beautiful photo of Elizabeth Taylor on the cover. As I was walking back in, I noticed the beauty f my blooming hydrangeas. The next day I arranged some. The day after that I arranged some more and baked a pie. It was a trickle that roared into a river and I realized my creativity and much of my soul was not dried up or dissolved but frozen, protecting itself. I am confident that you will experience this too and your best and brightest work is ahead. Cheers to inspiration, wherever it may strike.
Dear Heather,
I am wishing you well while you navigate these choppy waters. Stay strong. Sending love and positive thoughts your way!
Your friend, the dear Contessa sang your praises, and so I had to stop by for a visit myself. Dear Heather, I do believe there are good days ahead for you! I will be following you from now on, and wishing much happiness in your future. Kind regards, Cynthia
I am so glad that you and dear Elizabeth had such a wonderful time together. I think she has the type of nature that just makes you smile. Hope you're feeling better Heather. I am sure you will come out of this stronger than before. Please continue to write because I miss your beautiful writing and photos which have always been an inspiration to me.