While I was walking through the forest above L’Isle sur la Sorgue, I couldn’t stop seeing lines. There were forms in the trees and the underbrush and they seemed to be pointing me in several directions all at once. I was thinking about friendship.
I have written before that it can be lonely at times living overseas – “can” being the operative word here and “challenging” being a far more satisfying word then maudlin “lonely.” But there are moments, increasingly with age, where I just want to be understood. A line drawn with a strong hand that doesn’t need to be interpreted.
Now don’t get me wrong. I knew what, or who, to be more precise, I was signing up for when I came on board for this adventure and it has been a marvelous one. Plus, I am giddy to announce that I will be heading back to the States at the end of the month for a long-overdue visit. My Mom has promised me that I will be “spoiled” and by that she is not referring to goods, although there will be that too. She understands.
Our virtual world can be so incredibly giving, glowing in generosity. So many voices that reach out tendril like towards mine and mine back to them. Sinewy yet delicate. I am quite honored to have been chosen by my friend Jeanne at Collage of Life to participate in a writerly blog tour for example, more of that next Monday. The world is our oyster and a love for similar beauties are often the uniting cord.
But I have learned that there are no commitments in virtual friendships either. People disappear, connections end. At times, even the most hardy of us need a mirror to reflect back our image but if that mirror is virtual, what do we do?
It must be then that the lines that I cross are one’s that I draw in the dirt myself, my own boundaries that move about with the fluidity of the light darting through the trees. Just as the sticks and stones of our daily life are ours to drop and snap in two. Especially those that we use against ourselves.
I feel imminently grateful to be a part of a world-wide community. I look in amazement at the Visitor Tracker on the sidebar and see “South Africa” “Tokyo” and “Ohio” flip up one after the next. But as I followed those lines in the forest…and kept coming up against the same patterns…
returning to the exact same forms unconsciously…
I followed the path back to me.
It may seem so obvious but how often I forget the importance of being strong in a community of one.
I know what that loneliness feels like. I'm so happy you get to go 'home' to your mother's house 🙂 xx
How exciting that you are able to return to the States to see you mother and sister. Family is so hugely, hugely a part of how and who we are…and it is so necessary, from time to time, to reconnect to see that again through freshened eyes.
Heather you are one of the strongest women I know (virtually!) I realize I am one of those friends who has been remiss and I am sorry for that. Sometimes It does get to be a bit much though and we need a breather from it all.
I can tell you this…your photography blows me away. It is so layered, with positive and negative space used brilliantly. This body of work should be submitted for an exhibit, definitely…
xoxo
Karena
Soiree by Danielle Rollins Giveaway!
Wonderful. Your beautiful photos and narrative show the dendritic synapses of humanity, the strength of the “community of one” and remind me of Indra’s net.
I have to look through it some more. There were a few things that I recognized in myself — but mostly its about women who are afraid or even ashamed about being alone. I don't think you fall into either of those categories. On the other hand she talks about really enjoying and savoring that alone time — we need it to be creative.
Thank you Janey! But I need to edit my post to add that I will be around for three more weeks! Sloppy Joe editing on my part…oops… 😉
Coming from you that is a Big Whopper with Cheese of a compliment. 🙂 And I cried like a baby at that last phrase. It is so true and still rings true. But it is a work in progres…
Do you like the book Judith?
One of the things that I have been struggling with lately is my sudden need for company. I have always been an outsider and was alone throughout my early adult years so it is surprising to me. Still trying to figure it out. And your last sentence just left me nodding my head, without a word to say!
Such a beautiful, beautiful response. Thank you so much, Wyn.