While I was walking through the forest above L’Isle sur la Sorgue, I couldn’t stop seeing lines. There were forms in the trees and the underbrush and they seemed to be pointing me in several directions all at once. I was thinking about friendship.
I have written before that it can be lonely at times living overseas – “can” being the operative word here and “challenging” being a far more satisfying word then maudlin “lonely.” But there are moments, increasingly with age, where I just want to be understood. A line drawn with a strong hand that doesn’t need to be interpreted.
Now don’t get me wrong. I knew what, or who, to be more precise, I was signing up for when I came on board for this adventure and it has been a marvelous one. Plus, I am giddy to announce that I will be heading back to the States at the end of the month for a long-overdue visit. My Mom has promised me that I will be “spoiled” and by that she is not referring to goods, although there will be that too. She understands.
Our virtual world can be so incredibly giving, glowing in generosity. So many voices that reach out tendril like towards mine and mine back to them. Sinewy yet delicate. I am quite honored to have been chosen by my friend Jeanne at Collage of Life to participate in a writerly blog tour for example, more of that next Monday. The world is our oyster and a love for similar beauties are often the uniting cord.
But I have learned that there are no commitments in virtual friendships either. People disappear, connections end. At times, even the most hardy of us need a mirror to reflect back our image but if that mirror is virtual, what do we do?
It must be then that the lines that I cross are one’s that I draw in the dirt myself, my own boundaries that move about with the fluidity of the light darting through the trees. Just as the sticks and stones of our daily life are ours to drop and snap in two. Especially those that we use against ourselves.
I feel imminently grateful to be a part of a world-wide community. I look in amazement at the Visitor Tracker on the sidebar and see “South Africa” “Tokyo” and “Ohio” flip up one after the next. But as I followed those lines in the forest…and kept coming up against the same patterns…
returning to the exact same forms unconsciously…
I followed the path back to me.
It may seem so obvious but how often I forget the importance of being strong in a community of one.
DA – I know that you know how much I need this! And thank you for the reminder about the correlation to relationships as well…too true.
And Jeanne, there was a teeny part of me that was a bit jealous of your getaway last weekend – as embarrassed as I am to admit, it is true. How wonderful – especially because I saw in Heidi how much your girlfriends love and appreciate you. But yes, it definitely is…more work…for those of us that aren't Mothers to find our way with our friends. Here it is a huge challenge for me as I don't just slip in to anyone's schedule or cross their path. Not to mention that it is pretty unusual for a woman of my age not to have had kids in France. So I understand that too. And applaud you for your – always wise for a girl who likes her Manolos – perspective.
And I got an email from you this morning! Ahhhh, please don't tell me that it didn't work because I am in the midst of moving over. It is going to take awhile because my backup list is on Word not Excel – so by the time I imported the addresses…well, I am still going to have to manually add over 200! 😮
Heeeeelp.
xo
You know for me, we moved around so often that it was just our little unit that meant so much to me as I was often "the new girl" so I have never had such a long-standing friendship such as yours with your friend that just came to visit. I can see how that refuelled you as well. It is interesting that we all have our sources…and thank you so very much for the wonderful compliment about my photos. That just made my day!
My family in the States pitched in to help bring me over, otherwise I wouldn't be going back either. I hope that is in the cards for you soon. It does a person good!
That is so beautifully put, Lorrie. Thank you. And yes, even when I go home to the States, there is a part of me that doesn't quite fit in there anymore either!
Thank you Sir. And you have a mighty fine turn of a phrase…
I am still here Silke! I won't be going until the end of the month. My announcing it early just goes to show how excited I am…
As always, un grand merci for your response here. You know, I don't know the answer to your question and it is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I have decided to give myself permission to slow down and not publish as much. It is becoming too much like work and I am enjoying the process less, which defeats the point…Add to it that I am having technical problems and there are definitely moments when I want to throw in the towel! But not yet…
Oh they know Sister…they know! 🙂
Thanks so much Loree. I think especially with personalities like ours – that have a deep love for the past as well as the present – it can be hard to find the right fit today…Hug right back to you, lovely one!
I appreciate that very much, V. 🙂
I think that a meeting between the three of us would go on long into the night! I too would love to – and hope to – meet Jeanne. She is such a lovely, generous spirit -just like yourself, Helen.
PS. To have Gaelic as one's first language is just beyond romantic to me…