While I was walking through the forest above L’Isle sur la Sorgue, I couldn’t stop seeing lines. There were forms in the trees and the underbrush and they seemed to be pointing me in several directions all at once. I was thinking about friendship.
I have written before that it can be lonely at times living overseas – “can” being the operative word here and “challenging” being a far more satisfying word then maudlin “lonely.” But there are moments, increasingly with age, where I just want to be understood. A line drawn with a strong hand that doesn’t need to be interpreted.
Now don’t get me wrong. I knew what, or who, to be more precise, I was signing up for when I came on board for this adventure and it has been a marvelous one. Plus, I am giddy to announce that I will be heading back to the States at the end of the month for a long-overdue visit. My Mom has promised me that I will be “spoiled” and by that she is not referring to goods, although there will be that too. She understands.
Our virtual world can be so incredibly giving, glowing in generosity. So many voices that reach out tendril like towards mine and mine back to them. Sinewy yet delicate. I am quite honored to have been chosen by my friend Jeanne at Collage of Life to participate in a writerly blog tour for example, more of that next Monday. The world is our oyster and a love for similar beauties are often the uniting cord.
But I have learned that there are no commitments in virtual friendships either. People disappear, connections end. At times, even the most hardy of us need a mirror to reflect back our image but if that mirror is virtual, what do we do?
It must be then that the lines that I cross are one’s that I draw in the dirt myself, my own boundaries that move about with the fluidity of the light darting through the trees. Just as the sticks and stones of our daily life are ours to drop and snap in two. Especially those that we use against ourselves.
I feel imminently grateful to be a part of a world-wide community. I look in amazement at the Visitor Tracker on the sidebar and see “South Africa” “Tokyo” and “Ohio” flip up one after the next. But as I followed those lines in the forest…and kept coming up against the same patterns…
returning to the exact same forms unconsciously…
I followed the path back to me.
It may seem so obvious but how often I forget the importance of being strong in a community of one.
I recall your last visit and am happy to hear you're headed back again. It's important. My last visit was over a year ago…I am badly overdue, too, but, alas, no visit in sight just yet. Can't wait to hear of your adventures there.
You tie your photos and writing together beautifully. As someone who lived overseas for more than 2 decades, I empathize with you just wanting to be understood. Oddly, though, I think that if you did move back permanently, you'd find that the life you've lived elsewhere has changed you into a different person. We are all on a journey through life and our experiences and settings settle into our souls and transform us into unique individuals.
You have such a fine eye for taking a photograph.
The last weeks I became aware of a thought returning to my mind: For how long will she go on writing this Blog? Hopefully for a quite a while…
That is how dear the time of contemplation I find here has become to me. Again in todays post. Your dialogue matches so well la Nature Morte.
You do offer commitment here. And where would humankind be without commitment? Frankly said " virtual friendship" is a strange expression, something hard to envision.
How much more can I envision that image of the mirror, you draw that reflects back our image. I am really glad for you that this time has come for you. Wish you ALL the best for the journey and a wonderful time with your family and friends!
And am looking forward for your return (:
Ooo – loved looking at all of these beautiful lines (and colors and shapes), and love the idea of being strong in a community of one! Congratulations on your writerly blog tour!! And, hey everybody, her loving sister is going to spoil her, too!!!!! : )
Sometimes one can get lonely even when surrounded by friends. Very often, what we crave most is understanding. Hugs. Enjoy your trip to the US.
I am so happy to hear you are going back to the States, Heather… to re-unite with your family… there is nothing more warming and joyful… but know that your friends here… we will all be waiting patiently for your return… 🙂 xv
Hello Heather
I have tremendous respect and admiration for those who chose to live in a country where the language differs from their native language. At times this must present a challenge especially on days where we feel our way rather than express ourselves. Gaelic was my first language and I expect Mike (Canadian) to understand me when I speak backwards.
I am delighted to hear you are returning to the USA for a visit and I have no doubt you will be spoiled by your loving mother.
I am happy to have found you though blogging. I am going to hop over (virtually) to visit Jeanne shortly. I would dearly love to meet her in person.
Have a great week
Helen xx
Wonderful post, Thank you
Happy trip to the States!
The way you describe living overseas, can also in a way describe what it feels like to be mentally ill, that wanting to be understood. Its not easy to learn the language of tread carefully lest people think the worse.
Hello Heather:
So much of what you write here, accompanied by these wonderful, carefully chosen images which we know to come from your collection, resonates with us and we find ourselves identifying with both the 'lonely' and the more positive 'challenging' of the words which you use. And, like you, we do not complain and, like you, we know what we have signed up for. But……..
The blogosphere provides much in the way of friendship, some of which translates into the reality of the world we all actually inhabit. We are so blessed in this respect. Yet, of course, at the end of the day each one of us must look to himself or herself to know in which direction to travel, to find the strength to continue when and where the path is uneven and, finally, to obtain that inner peace which surely we all seek.
Your proposed visit to the United States will, we are sure, give you much joy.