I haven’t felt like talking much and so it goes that I haven’t felt much like writing either. Opening up the drawers of my desk, I look to see if there are any extra words laying around, in the bottom, in the corners and find only perfume vials and paper clips. It is not sadness, nor its opposite, just quiet. I close the drawers and let my gaze rise out the window like a balloon escaping a tiny fist. The clouds are lazy.
They drag behind the beat of the guitar strum of the homeless man who is sitting on the sidewalk just to the right of our front door. I say homeless but I don’t know if that is true, SDF in French or Sans Domicile Fixe. He was there yesterday evening as well, drinking a beer and asking about the dogs. He used the polite “vous” form and wished me a pleasant evening. In turn I offered that he would have Bon Courage with the rain. Which is gone today. So perhaps that is why he is playing.
Remi walks past my desk and the orchids near my screen shake their hearts with each step. How thin these old floors are, how differently built. We must have sounded like elephants to the family that lived below. But now they’ve gone and we have the building to ourselves. Which feels both luxurious and isolating, the space that contains us. Luckily, we have the country so close at hand, the land where we can keep walking and often in silence. I don’t have to find the words to express the precision of such beauty. Cowboy rope mountains, twilight petals. I can get lost in the looking. We all have our internal answers, those without syllables that we just know. What comfort that brings. It sings.
Have a wonderful wag of a week, everyone…
Whew! I felt this way often in the French countryside… for me, it was rather… something to move through, walking… I am glad you revel in it… you obviously belong in this spare, contemplative space, in the muted tones of the photos (so beautiful!).
…"Opening up the drawers of my desk, I look to see if there are any extra words laying around"….. What a beautiful phrase Heather, I just love the way you write. Coming to visit you here in Arles is always very calm and peaceful, thank you!
Sharon
xx
Thank you so much Sister for giving me the Pema perspective!!! I love you so much! 🙂
Merci, Cheri. But what a wonderful adventure you have before you! I love moving into a new home and making it into a cosy nest. 🙂 I know that you will enjoy it once you get further into it–certainly that first push is a hard one! So many decisions! And as a former Cali girl, aaaaah, there is nothing that a trip to the ocean can't clear up…
Oh thank you so, so much Loree. I really appreciate that coming from you.
Bisous!
I think so Debra and I even think that you and I had this exact same conversation last year at this time too!!!
PS. Hug delivered. 🙂
xoxox
Ooooh, love this quiet post! Yes, Pema Chodron definitely says to just feel your feelings, not to push them away or judge them – it can be tricky to do. But you've done it here beautifully, along with the peaceful photos. Have a wonderful day, Sister!
Well said, I've been trying to pinpoint my need for quiet right now. Could be my plate is full with our new home decisions….It was so much easier living in a condo but I secretly hated it, so I got what I wanted, a big house, now the work begins. I'm needing time to contemplate these decisions, perhaps a drive to the coast if only I could convince my other half to go. I love your words…
Just beautiful Heather. Any other comment would be superfluous.
I wonder if it's being a drift between seasons that makes us quiet because I've been the same way for the last fews weeks. I think I'm just waiting. I could get lost in the views if mine looked anything but white yours are way more interesting right now. Ben looks as handsome as ever, give him a hug from me!
XXX
Debra~