Hello everyone! I have been asked by the lovely Marsha at Splenderosa to join her International Blog Party “By Invitation Only.” It is quite a thrill to be participating along with some of the blog world’s finest. Today’s theme is “Weddings”…
My photos are faded now. But my memories are fresh. I am not single. Nor have I been married. I have a ring but it is not a wedding band. Let me explain.
Two wild things, two wanderers recognized something in the other and fell head over heels in love. They enmeshed their disparate lives by creating a team as a travel writer and photographer. And discovered the world and each other…together. Wherever they were, that was where home was.
And so my companion Remi Benali and I found ourselves on Bora Bora in February 2005. It was our most glamorous assignment so far, covering Bora Bora Cruises slow circle of the Leeward Islands for the French travel magazine Hotel & Lodge. We swam amidst the sharks only to find that a floating champagne bar had magically appeared when we came up for air. We were giddy with good fortune, dumb-founded by our luck. But it is also harder work than one outside of the métier can understand and we took it so. We didn’t see the time passing but felt it brushing past our skin.
One evening, just as the sun was tipping its hat in farewell, I could hear Remi’s gentle pad behind me as I gazed out onto the swirling sea. I turned and saw he held a jewelry box in his hand. My heart started to pound and I searched his gaze. Was this…? Would he…? No, no, not exactly. Inside the box, was the most beautiful pearl, one that glimmered green like the waves below me on one side and glowed pink like my heart on the other. A feeling, a moment, solidified into a tangible thing. It is a commitment ring. A promise was made with it and it has been kept. It is the most precious object I own.
Five months and much paperwork later, we made that promise legal by making a PACs or a Pacte Civil de Solidarité in the Town Hall, an exceptional option here in France. Solidarity. To stand by each other, to promise to take care of the other. It is so right for our couple, who have been through so much after having previously been so independent. I wore a white Margiela jacket and we stole a quick kiss as the notary wished us congratulations. But that was it. No champagne, no cake smushed in faces. We rushed back to our tiny apartment and started packing our bags for an especially challenging assignment in Tibet. We left before dawn the next morning. There was no time for ruminating high in the Himalayas but what we saw imprinted us strongly, with weight. And fifteen minutes after our return to Paris, Remi found an internet ad for a house that would finally take us to Arles, the city that had called to us. In Provence.
In Tibet. ©Remi Benali
All of this doesn’t mean that I don’t have my moments of rêverie. I honestly have no idea if we will ever tie the knot as our being together is still an active, not a given choice, but if we do, I know exactly where I would like us to go to do so–back to Bali. We have been twice on assignments and it is magical for both Remi and I. We have roamed the island and been intoxicated by its romance. We could have a simple ceremony on the beach with just our immediate family at our sides. We could be barefoot in the sand with the waves as music. I would charm Remi into wearing his sarong (he is even more masculin in one)…
…and I would don my favorite champagne silk bias gown with matching vintage pearls.
And of course, the pearl of Bora Bora.
And although our lives have taken another turn, our existence is now quite simple and our travelling days are perhaps over, for the past eleven years I have been with an incredible man. Finally, all of our voyages together were our lune de miel. For yes, we did dine by candlelight in the garden and spread the rose petals out with our toes the evening that I took the above photo along with too many memories to mention. Today, I run my finger over the pearls surface and remember that I don’t need any more than all I already have.
I never dreamed of being married, not even when I was a young girl. I don’t know why, my parents certainly gave me a wonderful, lasting example. But I did hope, for so long, that one day I would meet a man that I would love and respect, who would feel the same for me. Who would appreciate me for who I am and vice versa. That we could build a life together in trust. A wedding then of heart, mind and spirit.
I feel very fortunate.
Cue music:
For those of you that are visiting for the first time, I really want to extend a warm bienvenue. And for my wonderful readers and friends, please take a moment if you can to visit some of the other posts. You will be able to find them all at Splenderosa. How wonderful to explore and dream!
Dear Heather as you can see I am catching up on my writing! This is one of the most wonderful accounts of a couples life together I have ever heard! I wish you both continued happiness always!
Anita's Parisian Party
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
I couldn't agree more, La Contessa, though perhaps I am a bit biased, being Heather's sister! I think Heather's writing from the heart and original photographs make her a true find – I am so proud of her and her talent!!
Dear Heather,
Oh I loved your story!!You and Remi are a wonderful couple! I can see and feel this!You certainly don't have to be married to be happy!
I wish you both lots of years of happiness together!
Hugs,
Greet
Oh, Heather….perhaps (if you're keeping upwith politics in USA) you'll already know about North Carolina's (my state) brand-spanky-new&improved constitutional amendment—–whereby not only same-sex marriage is banned (predictably enough, in this state), but also ANY sort of civil union that fails to meet the standard of "Man & Woman marry traditionally".
So, as of last month??…no PACS for us…no civil unions…no legal recognition of anything except for traditional marriage with its 80% divorce rate (which, equally predictably, is the ONE topic our right wing politicians NEVER-EVER mention while they attack civil-unions & gay-marriage as "an assault on The SANCTITY of Marriage!".
Isn't the hypocrisy enough to make you wince? Just for the record?….I have a brother (whom I happen to get along with quite well) who's a very enthusiastic "born-again Christian". So is his third and current wife. Between these two born-again Christians (she's been married three times herself, at age 40-something) they have 6 marriages and eight children by 4 different spouses. That's a remarkable (at least I think so)lot of marriages and children for two people who belong to a church which thinks that a union such as your and Remi's, or mine and Herve's, poses a "threat to The Sanctity of Marriage".
you needn't reply, since I already have a pretty good guess as to what your thoughts will be.
Congratulations, again and as ever, to you and Remi.
Resignedly (if amusedly),
David Terry
Hi heather
Now that is a very special love story! It certainly appeals to our romantic side. Your told it perfectly!
Merci beaucoup Melissa and thanks for stopping by! 🙂
What a romantic story! Thanks so much for sharing!! xoxo
Hello Veronica and welcome right back at you! I thought that your post for BIO was just so lovely. Hope is such a strange but beautiful thing isn't it? I feel really very grateful that this put a bit in your ticker but I bet it was there all along. And I hope that, when it is time, you will stay open. So many these days find love again even after such long marriages. Sending you a hug for strength…
I remember when I was younger and older folks would talk about how time was going by faster and faster, I would roll my eyes in disbelief! Now, already, I hope to make the best that I can out of it. Thank you so much for your wish, it touched me very much.
And I adore your blog! So happy to have found it, we all can use an extra dose of beauty in our day.
The ring is so much prettier in person, really distinctively dark green on one side and rosy on the other–good for a moody girl like me.