Hello everyone! I have been asked by the lovely Marsha at Splenderosa to join her International Blog Party “By Invitation Only.” It is quite a thrill to be participating along with some of the blog world’s finest. Today’s theme is “Weddings”…
My photos are faded now. But my memories are fresh. I am not single. Nor have I been married. I have a ring but it is not a wedding band. Let me explain.
Two wild things, two wanderers recognized something in the other and fell head over heels in love. They enmeshed their disparate lives by creating a team as a travel writer and photographer. And discovered the world and each other…together. Wherever they were, that was where home was.
And so my companion Remi Benali and I found ourselves on Bora Bora in February 2005. It was our most glamorous assignment so far, covering Bora Bora Cruises slow circle of the Leeward Islands for the French travel magazine Hotel & Lodge. We swam amidst the sharks only to find that a floating champagne bar had magically appeared when we came up for air. We were giddy with good fortune, dumb-founded by our luck. But it is also harder work than one outside of the métier can understand and we took it so. We didn’t see the time passing but felt it brushing past our skin.
One evening, just as the sun was tipping its hat in farewell, I could hear Remi’s gentle pad behind me as I gazed out onto the swirling sea. I turned and saw he held a jewelry box in his hand. My heart started to pound and I searched his gaze. Was this…? Would he…? No, no, not exactly. Inside the box, was the most beautiful pearl, one that glimmered green like the waves below me on one side and glowed pink like my heart on the other. A feeling, a moment, solidified into a tangible thing. It is a commitment ring. A promise was made with it and it has been kept. It is the most precious object I own.
Five months and much paperwork later, we made that promise legal by making a PACs or a Pacte Civil de Solidarité in the Town Hall, an exceptional option here in France. Solidarity. To stand by each other, to promise to take care of the other. It is so right for our couple, who have been through so much after having previously been so independent. I wore a white Margiela jacket and we stole a quick kiss as the notary wished us congratulations. But that was it. No champagne, no cake smushed in faces. We rushed back to our tiny apartment and started packing our bags for an especially challenging assignment in Tibet. We left before dawn the next morning. There was no time for ruminating high in the Himalayas but what we saw imprinted us strongly, with weight. And fifteen minutes after our return to Paris, Remi found an internet ad for a house that would finally take us to Arles, the city that had called to us. In Provence.
In Tibet. ©Remi Benali
All of this doesn’t mean that I don’t have my moments of rêverie. I honestly have no idea if we will ever tie the knot as our being together is still an active, not a given choice, but if we do, I know exactly where I would like us to go to do so–back to Bali. We have been twice on assignments and it is magical for both Remi and I. We have roamed the island and been intoxicated by its romance. We could have a simple ceremony on the beach with just our immediate family at our sides. We could be barefoot in the sand with the waves as music. I would charm Remi into wearing his sarong (he is even more masculin in one)…
…and I would don my favorite champagne silk bias gown with matching vintage pearls.
And of course, the pearl of Bora Bora.
And although our lives have taken another turn, our existence is now quite simple and our travelling days are perhaps over, for the past eleven years I have been with an incredible man. Finally, all of our voyages together were our lune de miel. For yes, we did dine by candlelight in the garden and spread the rose petals out with our toes the evening that I took the above photo along with too many memories to mention. Today, I run my finger over the pearls surface and remember that I don’t need any more than all I already have.
I never dreamed of being married, not even when I was a young girl. I don’t know why, my parents certainly gave me a wonderful, lasting example. But I did hope, for so long, that one day I would meet a man that I would love and respect, who would feel the same for me. Who would appreciate me for who I am and vice versa. That we could build a life together in trust. A wedding then of heart, mind and spirit.
I feel very fortunate.
Cue music:
For those of you that are visiting for the first time, I really want to extend a warm bienvenue. And for my wonderful readers and friends, please take a moment if you can to visit some of the other posts. You will be able to find them all at Splenderosa. How wonderful to explore and dream!
Natalie, I am speechless–and you know that is rare! But your story is just so amazing, so beautiful. The power of love. Such a miracle that he arrived just in time and yes, of course, you had so much to live for then to get you through. I can only imagine all of the emotions that you must have felt then and on your wedding day. I am so happy for you both that you found each other again and have built such a strong union together.
And yes, I agree that the PACS is wonderful–it is available to same sex couples as well, offering nearly all of the benefits of marriage–health care, etc. Very modern for this old country, isn't it?
Merci Isa for the truly lovely compliment and I was teary-eyed reading the amazing responses all day yesterday–and it looks like it is going to continue today!
Oh Heather! Heather! An amazing, romantic story which sincerely touched so many and sparkled a dialog so heartfelt.
The sunset image is beyond the words but you found them, the best ones, the most beautiful words. You're the happiest girl.
When we met with my future husband it didn't work out instantly, he traveled a lot in scientific expeditions, I studied, we parted our ways for a long three years. I thought that was it. But one day when I was facing a surgery with 50/50 chances there he was out of nowhere with the bucket , he picked up on the market, full of my favorite huge camomiles. He was in such a hurry that forgot to dispose of the bucket. We laughed , he proposed even not knowing of the outcomes. I was so happy that I actually survived and recovered very fast. The doctor said that flower boy did more for me than him. The flowers lasted for a couple of weeks right to day we were married…and 23 years and two boys later still deeply and truly in love.
Thank you Heather so much for your graciously written story. Your pearl ring beautiful.
And how wise of French to have the Pacte de Solidarite. This is perfect.
All the very best to you and Remi. He shouldn't be shy and allow you to post more pictures of you two.
Thank you so much for this unbelievable post. Your writing is sublime, and I loved reading every word of your beautiful love story. It really touched me. "Today, I run my finger over the pearls surface and remember that I don't need any more than all I already have." That made me tear up!
xo isa
Bah! You live in the hood? Even part time? I am so glad that you stopped by and am looking forward to hearing more about you!
Thank you so much Cindy–I really, really appreciate that!
Lucky me to have such a good friend in you.
Tish, it means so much that you said hello today, your support has meant more to me than you know. I am so excited for all that lies ahead of you, you inspire me to no end!
Alright then, bracing myself to listen to the song but before I do…well, hopefully you know. Hopefully you know that your story may really reach out to many as it did me (and it will stay with me long as a reminder). I do hope that Herve is ok with this. To you both I wish Namaste–the best within me salutes the best within you.
Now I understand your sentimental attachment to Bora Bora! A very beautiful story, even more beautifully told by one with such a gift for writing. There truly is no greater adventure in life than falling, and continuing to fall deeper, in love with the person who catches our heart with an electric spark. One look, one gesture, one word, is all it takes.
You are very, very lucky to have found each other – absolute kindred spirits.
And oh my goodness – that dress and those pearls….I'm speechless! Well, almost. With your red hair, that would be the most exceptionally lovely effect. Lucky Remi! xx