Hello everyone! I have been asked by the lovely Marsha at Splenderosa to join her International Blog Party “By Invitation Only.” It is quite a thrill to be participating along with some of the blog world’s finest. Today’s theme is “Weddings”…
My photos are faded now. But my memories are fresh. I am not single. Nor have I been married. I have a ring but it is not a wedding band. Let me explain.
Two wild things, two wanderers recognized something in the other and fell head over heels in love. They enmeshed their disparate lives by creating a team as a travel writer and photographer. And discovered the world and each other…together. Wherever they were, that was where home was.
And so my companion Remi Benali and I found ourselves on Bora Bora in February 2005. It was our most glamorous assignment so far, covering Bora Bora Cruises slow circle of the Leeward Islands for the French travel magazine Hotel & Lodge. We swam amidst the sharks only to find that a floating champagne bar had magically appeared when we came up for air. We were giddy with good fortune, dumb-founded by our luck. But it is also harder work than one outside of the métier can understand and we took it so. We didn’t see the time passing but felt it brushing past our skin.
One evening, just as the sun was tipping its hat in farewell, I could hear Remi’s gentle pad behind me as I gazed out onto the swirling sea. I turned and saw he held a jewelry box in his hand. My heart started to pound and I searched his gaze. Was this…? Would he…? No, no, not exactly. Inside the box, was the most beautiful pearl, one that glimmered green like the waves below me on one side and glowed pink like my heart on the other. A feeling, a moment, solidified into a tangible thing. It is a commitment ring. A promise was made with it and it has been kept. It is the most precious object I own.
Five months and much paperwork later, we made that promise legal by making a PACs or a Pacte Civil de Solidarité in the Town Hall, an exceptional option here in France. Solidarity. To stand by each other, to promise to take care of the other. It is so right for our couple, who have been through so much after having previously been so independent. I wore a white Margiela jacket and we stole a quick kiss as the notary wished us congratulations. But that was it. No champagne, no cake smushed in faces. We rushed back to our tiny apartment and started packing our bags for an especially challenging assignment in Tibet. We left before dawn the next morning. There was no time for ruminating high in the Himalayas but what we saw imprinted us strongly, with weight. And fifteen minutes after our return to Paris, Remi found an internet ad for a house that would finally take us to Arles, the city that had called to us. In Provence.
In Tibet. ©Remi Benali
All of this doesn’t mean that I don’t have my moments of rêverie. I honestly have no idea if we will ever tie the knot as our being together is still an active, not a given choice, but if we do, I know exactly where I would like us to go to do so–back to Bali. We have been twice on assignments and it is magical for both Remi and I. We have roamed the island and been intoxicated by its romance. We could have a simple ceremony on the beach with just our immediate family at our sides. We could be barefoot in the sand with the waves as music. I would charm Remi into wearing his sarong (he is even more masculin in one)…
…and I would don my favorite champagne silk bias gown with matching vintage pearls.
And of course, the pearl of Bora Bora.
And although our lives have taken another turn, our existence is now quite simple and our travelling days are perhaps over, for the past eleven years I have been with an incredible man. Finally, all of our voyages together were our lune de miel. For yes, we did dine by candlelight in the garden and spread the rose petals out with our toes the evening that I took the above photo along with too many memories to mention. Today, I run my finger over the pearls surface and remember that I don’t need any more than all I already have.
I never dreamed of being married, not even when I was a young girl. I don’t know why, my parents certainly gave me a wonderful, lasting example. But I did hope, for so long, that one day I would meet a man that I would love and respect, who would feel the same for me. Who would appreciate me for who I am and vice versa. That we could build a life together in trust. A wedding then of heart, mind and spirit.
I feel very fortunate.
Cue music:
For those of you that are visiting for the first time, I really want to extend a warm bienvenue. And for my wonderful readers and friends, please take a moment if you can to visit some of the other posts. You will be able to find them all at Splenderosa. How wonderful to explore and dream!
I have good news for you Mr. Terry (and clearly NOT Reverend Terry), the link is the right one! Whew. 😉 I haven't heard that song in such a long time. Far too many to even think of it in terms of Remi and I so thank you so much. What a beautiful gift. So like you to give it too. I listened to that album over and over and over–I wonder if the message sunk in and stayed?
I have a little story for you about Sting. This was many (over 20) years ago and I was working as a "hostess" at a big benefit in NYC. Despite the many celebrity guests, my fellow hostesses were all most excited about his arrival and he did not disappoint. Of course, this being NYC, our little group was all very determined not to stare at him as he entered the room but he beat us to the punch by walking right up to us. "Isn't my wife the most beautiful woman in the world?" he asked, turning to gesture at her where she was talking in another group ten feet away. Luckily, he didn't wait for an answer as we were all utterly speechless. That question wasn't for show either. He meant it. Isn't that lovely?
As Head In The Clouds As Ever,
Heather
I, too, felt entranced as I read along. Such a beautiful and exciting story, Heather. And, now I'm waiting to see Remi in his sarong!! You guys have been everywhere, haven't you? Sharing all these experiences is what makes a life. Sharing, discovering, being awed, and working together creating something tangible is one of the biggest joys there is. I think your relationship works perfectly for the 2 of you. All of us of "By Invitation Only" are so happy to welcome both Remi & you into our group. Sending a big Texas hug, my friend….
Cheers, Wyn! Your wonderful responses never fail to make me smile so broadly–merci!!!
Je suis très, très touchée par votre histoire, Francine. Isn't life so surprising? What a gift it gave you, the one that you weren't even looking for. Thank you for the compliment and by all means–go! Go to Bali! What a wonderful, perfect place for your 30th anniversary. And if you do, please let me know so that I can drive you crazy with suggestions. 🙂
Hello Heather,
I am new to your blog, your newest follower thus and will add to my blogroll, for such a beautiful blog must be shared! Your way of sharing captures imagination, and the honesty in how you shared your special love and bond, is magical and appreciated.
with best regards from Afrique du Sud
Colette
As usual, Heather, a beautiful story, beautifully written. Thank you for revealing the background of your very touching mariage. I love your ring and lovely champagne gown and vintage pearls. Perfection.
Bisous…Victoria
Heather this is a beautiful tribute to your love and strong bond, thank you for sharing so generously
Sharon
x
Dear Heather,
My good guess is that (1) you already know this song quite well and/or (2) even if you don't know the song, you probably don't actually "need" to hear it, since you and Remi seem already to have figured out for yourselves what it has to say.
go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYi7kOMZXQo
Admiringly,
David Terry (who is currently really afraid that, one of these fine days and using this new computer/browser of mine) I'm going to publicly distribute the link to whatever porn-site I've obviously been trolling for the previous six hours. I'm pretty sure this is the right link, though….)
http://www.davidterryart.com
Such a ray of sunshine …… It beams from your page with warmth and care – enjoy your travels through life and make sure you both keep blogging the honeymoon to us as your work is wonderful! Hold each other close, no matter the destination! Wow … what can one say but here's to many joys for you! Cheers guys!
A deep poignant story of true love, so different from my story, but love has infinite facets…i met a young man i hardly knew, we married on a spur of the moment for other reasons than true love and became soul mates. Your story is one of fairy tales, so beautifully told, in places i love. you inspired me….perhaps i would return to Bali to celebrate 30 years with the man I deeply love..