Here is a little addendum to yesterday’s post and I hope that those of you that are thinking, “Get back to the Provençal Christmas preparations already” will bear with me.
Your comments always push my thinking to the next step. It made me realize that beyond the outer, physical expressions of the roles that we play, what is more interesting to me is the idea that there is a unique fire within each of us, one that waxes and wanes at different stages in our lives but frequently glows strongly in our youth (whether we were rebellious or not). And yes, like many, I tend to idealize that stage in our lives and the fearlessness that comes from not knowing any better. But what I had forgotten is the importance of those that let their fire burn bright even once they do know the consequences. I am referring not only to my response to Vicki Archer, who is increasingly creative on her blog French Essence but also to the numerous inspiring women that I have in my life both online and in person. Courage has no expiration date.
So if the fire within me feels dimmer than it has in the past, yes, it most certainly is a sign that I haven’t fully accepted who I am at this stage of my life. Which leads me to a question that came up yesterday while talking with my Sister, Robin (whose birthday it is today. Happy Birthday! I love you!) that she encouraged me to go ahead and ask. For those of you with children, did you feel that personal fire within you expand in having them? Knowing that it is passed on within them? Perhaps I am mistaken but for women like myself who haven’t experienced motherhood, the transition towards middle age seems to take a greater effort. It is something that has to be wrought rather than arriving on its own–or is that obvious? Any thoughts?
Oh, thank you! I decided to start at the very first post you made back in 2010 and work my way up in chronological order. Slowly and thoughtfully as to really digest it all and relive the feelings it evokes in me. Just loving it!
Thank you for this beautiful, beautiful response Laura. it moved me so deeply. Namaste…the light in Me bows down to the light in You.
I remember being in the thick of parenthood, my thirties were a complete blur. Juggling a nursing new born, while chasing an adventurous toddler, while volunteering at my five year olds preschool class and then also keeping up with my second and fifth graders homework and school projects! Whew! I always focused on how I couldn’t wait until they were all older, what they would be doing with their lives and how much “easier “ life would get. I so wish now that I had lived in the moment and just enjoyed each stage as it came. How much more that adventure would have meant. What I know is this, nothing gets easier, it just changes. I’ve changed. I’ve ended up saying and doing things I once judged others harshly for. My kids have taught me to be flexible and accepting. I have my principles, yes, but more so with an open mind than before. High expectations and perfectionism have been replaced with the wisdom of embracing what is and what changes can occur on any given day. The kids are now 15 years thru 26, and my job is far from over as is my adventure in this journey I signed up for all those years ago. It is all I ever wanted, and not at all what I expected. It is a calling that will keep calling until I draw my last breath. Regrets? I have absolutely none, this is the most beautiful, heart wrenching, overwhelming, exhausting, fulfilling and utterly precious task and journey I have ever experienced. One where the road will never end with it’s twists and turns, views constantly changing and my heart growing fuller with every step.